morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
