420 ftw
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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