Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I wear drunk well.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
