i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
