...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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