Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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