so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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