Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
