Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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