I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
