yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize