The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
