It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize