dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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