How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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