Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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