WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
