Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
