So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
