I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
