Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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