he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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