hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
