I think my fart just growled at me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
