I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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