Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
PANTIES FOUND
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
