no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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