theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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