so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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