I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
