Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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