So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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