Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
