I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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