I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
