did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
