How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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