And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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