dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
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Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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