I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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