Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Your cock deserves a montage
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
