It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
