so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
3pm strippers are depressing
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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