I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
