Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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