I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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