I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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