she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
