why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize