Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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