Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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