you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Less talking, more tequila
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
