you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I puked a lego.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
