My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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