my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
