nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
