I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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