You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
