Swine flu. Run for my life!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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